This year has tested my natural optimism quite a bit. Recently, I wrote about my journey to accept my feelings of sadness and anxiety. And while I do think it's crucially important to learn to be ok with not feeling ok or upbeat all the time, I also make it a habit to consciously look for the bright side.
I've found that taking time to sit back and count my blessings instead of my sorrows helps me to remember that things aren't quite as hopeless as they seem. I have this tendency to lose the forest for the trees, for good and for ill. When I'm enjoying something, I'm clearly having the best day ever and everything is fantastic, but when something bad happens, it usually feels like the world itself has ended and I've belatedly found out about it. So as you can imagine, I often need to force myself to stop and remember that the thing I'm currently consumed by is not the be-all and end-all of my entire existence.
One way I do this is by thinking about specific things that make me happy. Jeff has gotten quite used to my 11pm pleas to 'tell me a happy thought!' I have a mental list of ten or so memories that are my go-tos when I need to break out of a spiraling loop of anxious doom, or distract myself from catastrophizing, and this is a practice that really helps me calm down.
Recently, though, I've been reading about gratitude, and decided to work up a list of things I'm grateful for to complement my happy-thoughts list. A few studies recently have found that people who dwell on the things they're thankful for are happier and more able to cope with hard times. These studies are getting a lot of press, and while I'm usually sort of cynical about whatever's been anointed the new magic-bullet pathway to happiness, this one makes a lot of sense to me.
So without further ado, I present 21 things that I'm grateful for right now:
And there you have it: the top 21 things I'm grateful for right now. Now I want to hear from all of you! What are two things you're grateful for?
I've found that taking time to sit back and count my blessings instead of my sorrows helps me to remember that things aren't quite as hopeless as they seem. I have this tendency to lose the forest for the trees, for good and for ill. When I'm enjoying something, I'm clearly having the best day ever and everything is fantastic, but when something bad happens, it usually feels like the world itself has ended and I've belatedly found out about it. So as you can imagine, I often need to force myself to stop and remember that the thing I'm currently consumed by is not the be-all and end-all of my entire existence.
One way I do this is by thinking about specific things that make me happy. Jeff has gotten quite used to my 11pm pleas to 'tell me a happy thought!' I have a mental list of ten or so memories that are my go-tos when I need to break out of a spiraling loop of anxious doom, or distract myself from catastrophizing, and this is a practice that really helps me calm down.
Recently, though, I've been reading about gratitude, and decided to work up a list of things I'm grateful for to complement my happy-thoughts list. A few studies recently have found that people who dwell on the things they're thankful for are happier and more able to cope with hard times. These studies are getting a lot of press, and while I'm usually sort of cynical about whatever's been anointed the new magic-bullet pathway to happiness, this one makes a lot of sense to me.
So without further ado, I present 21 things that I'm grateful for right now:
- The unconditional love and support that my extended family has always shown to each other is a gift beyond price. Words cannot adequately express how thankful I am for my family.
- Jeff. Full stop.
- I've made lifelong friends that feel like a part of my family, and when I needed to lean on them this year, they were a wellspring of strength.
- Baby Girl seems to be growing well!
- On a related note, mommy-and-me dresses are the best invention ever.
- I don't get tired of things I like, which means that every time I watch Star Wars, it's almost as exciting as the very first time!
- I'm living in an age where traveling is cheaper and easier than ever before, and technologies like Facetime and texting have made it possible to remain connected to people I love who live on the other side of the country.
- I've lived in two very different cities in the past decade, and have gotten to cross two of my top destinations off of my travel bucket list: Japan and England.
- All of the lovely friends I've made through social media make life so much richer!
- While I didn't land a tenure-track job, I got to chase my academic dreams for eight years, and pursue my interest in political theory all the way through my PhD.
- After two sweltering summers without air conditioning, we've gotten window units this year!
- I really, really love my current job.
- Twitter is full of amazing things whenever a new political scandal breaks. (In other words, Twitter is great all the time now!)
- Pizza exists!
- We got two free years of HBO when we moved to Chicago, which has made it much easier to watch Game of Thrones.
- Taking blog photos with a tripod wasn't as hard as I'd feared. (Full disclosure: the photos in this post were taken by my mom. She's a whiz with a camera!)
- Everyone is super nice when they find out that I'm having a baby, and it makes me feel so excited.
- I got to be an aunt three times over when Jeff and I got married!
- My car is coming to live with me again this summer, and the part of me who still has an LA mindset will finally feel whole again.
- American political and governmental institutions are slightly more resilient than I'd feared.
- Two words: indoor plumbing.
Earrings: bought in Japan in 2005
Collar Clips: Femme De Bloom
Dress: Hell Bunny, discontinued, via my friend Rebecca
And there you have it: the top 21 things I'm grateful for right now. Now I want to hear from all of you! What are two things you're grateful for?
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I think that your positive mental attitude is just wonderful, Emily! A real breath of fresh air! Although you've been tested, you have remained your sunny and positive self by reflecting on all of your blessings, and I think that's something to be applauded! The indoor plumbing thing did make me giggle, you're right that it is something to be thankful for and certainly not to be taken for granted! Fab post as always!
ReplyDeleteAbbey 🐝 www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk
Thank you so much, Abbey! It's been a struggle to remind myself to focus on the good, but it has helped me a lot. And lists like this are like a cheat sheet to positivity!
DeleteBut seriously, how lucky are we to live in the post-outhouse age!
You've inspired me to do this post soon, on my blog! Your dress is stunning, perfect for summer xx Your mental attitude is amazing lovely.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to see what makes it onto your gratitude list! A good friend of mine sent me this dress so it was the perfect choice for talking about what I'm grateful for!
DeleteI have also loved making friends with people through social media. The blogging community is so lovely! I think that your mental attitude is wonderful. Counting your blessings is so necessary to helping with self-love and care and something that shouldn't be taken for granted. This is a lovely post,
ReplyDeleteLois x
www.lifeasloismay.wordpress.com
It's just an amazing thing to be able to make friends with similar interests on the other side of the globe! If not for social media, my path would never have crossed some of my favorite people. And I hope this post inspires you to think of your own list of blessings <3!
DeleteBeautiful dress as always! This post really made me smile , there's so many things wrong with the world these days that it's nice to see someone focusing on the happy things 💖
ReplyDeleteThe sorry state of the world is EXACTLY why I need to make lists like this! Otherwise I just want to hide under my bed.
DeletePizza exists! Yes! I am with you there, chick. Haha but anyway, I love this list you've made. I've accepted that I'm kind of a negative person, so I make a conscious effort to be positive and look for the good things in life. I totally think listing the good things in your life and self help change the way you think. Injecting positivity, gratitude, and bright perspective into your mind change the world around you. Also, that dress 😍
ReplyDeleteBreanna Catharina
toocuteforlife.com
I really shouldn't reply to comments on this post so close to dinnertime, because it's making me wish we could get pizza instead of what I've got planned ;)!
DeleteAnd I agree that doing things like making lists of good things can help to defeat the negativity. It's been a long road of conscious effort that led me to a more positive place, but it was definitely worth all the time spent retraining my brain!
Aww this is a lovely idea for a post! I bet you're so excited to meet your little girl!
ReplyDeleteI actually have a notebook where I make an effort to write at least one positive/ thing I'm thankful for each day then when I'm feeling down I can go back and read it and remind myself of the good!
I'm currently thankful for my new job in a new primary school come September and for my boyfriend!
PaleGirlRambling xo
Thank you so much! We can't wait to meet Baby <3.
DeleteAnd I love the idea of keeping an entire notebook like this! I've been meaning to keep a notebook of all the nice things Jeff does for the longest time, but somehow always find something to distract me from actually doing this. I'm feeling inspired to actually do it, though!
And CONGRATS on your new job!! That sounds absolutely wonderful :).
This was so much fun reading! "Pizza Exist" how could one not be thankful for the existence of pizza?! It is life haha. I am so glad that despite unfortunate events you are able to count your blessings, may more blessings come your way! Always praying for the growth and health of your baby! x
ReplyDeleteNikki
herddaringthoughts.blogspot.com
Pizza really is life!! And thank you so much for your prayers for baby girl! We are always so relieved when we go to a checkup at the doctor and hear that things are going well.
DeleteAwww this is such a lovely read, I really identified with struggling here and to list grateful things is such a nice idea. You look wonderful in your dress, too!
ReplyDeleteKate x
http://www.findingkate.co
Thank you so much! I love making lists like this, but I also find it so helpful to refer back to them later. It reminds me of all the good things and takes my mind off the bad!
DeleteThis is such a lovely post! Love your positive look on things, it's so refreshing!
ReplyDeleteAs always, loving the outfit!
Jessica & James | foodandbaker.co.uk / foodandbakertravels.co.uk
Thank you so much! It's absolutely crucial right now that I make an effort to be positive, and lists like this really help me <3.
DeleteThis dress was a gift from a dear friend, so it seemed appropriate for this post!
What a lovely, uplifting post! It's such a good way to remind yourself of all of the good things that has happened lately... I still can't quite believe that you lived in England - I wish I knew you back then!
ReplyDeleteLizzie Bee // hello lizzie bee
Thank you, Lizzie! And I think I need to go back and make this post a bit clearer -- I've live in LA and Chicago, but got to visit England after wishing I could go for my entire life!
DeleteI'm most certainly grateful for YOU and I'm grateful for finally having a job after 8 months of being unemployed. Thank you for being you. I need to get off my tush and revive my blog. But life is so much fun right now :)
ReplyDeleteCONGRATS ON THE JOB!! Yayyyyy! I am just so happy for you, Evie! Hopefully you absolutely love the new job. Good for you for sticking with the search <3.
DeleteAnd whenever you bring back the blog, I'll be ready to read!
This is beautiful, it's always nice to think of things your thankful for! That dress is gorgeous!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm thankful for:
1) all my friends & family.
2) my beautiful girls 💕
Thank you! I love making lists of good things. Then they're always there when you need them!
DeleteSo glad your family is filled with love <3.
To be grateful is a good thing, and to have gratitude is often something I felt a lot on, particularly when I feel sad. I think we all have those 'go to' memories. P.S your Mother takes wonderful photos 💜
ReplyDeleteWhat are your go-to memories, Lydia? I used to have a list of about ten that I'd think of if I needed help falling asleep. And I'll pass the message along to my mom -- she LOVES taking pictures so much!
DeleteI am so grateful pizza exist too! Best invention ever! I am thankful for so many other things too! love the dress! xx corinne
ReplyDeletePizza is right up there with the DVR on my list of favorite inventions! And I still can't believe I have this dress -- my good friend found it on an EU swap and sell and sent it to me!
DeleteA great list and such a positive post. You missed off the list your ability to spread joy to others by the way you dress! Kx
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! And that is absolutely the sweetest compliment -- I'm happy if my colorful frocks brighten others' day!
DeleteI'm grateful for my Em! Love, your uncle i.
ReplyDeleteI love you, Uncle I!! You're so precious <3!
DeleteI am so grateful for pizza too! (And coffee!) And traveling to Japan! This is such a fabulous post, Emily. I really like this idea. I think I need to sit down and make my own 21 list, whether it's just for me to read and remind myself or as a blog post. You always have the best ideas. :) Also, that dress is amazing!!
ReplyDeleteOoooh, coffee! I'm definitely grateful that I can still have one cup of coffee every day. I hope you do make your own list -- I'd absolutely love to see what's on it, and what you choose, photo-wise, to go along with it!
DeleteAnd this dress came from my friend Rebecca and it makes me SO HAPPY!
I don't know if I ever recall seeing you wear this skirt, so I might have to go search through your blog. Don't know if I've ever even seen the skirt in the first place!
ReplyDeleteAnd plain pizza from Jersey is heavenly! I firmly believe that plain is the way to go. A good pizza stands on its own, and has no need for toppings!
Hmm I guess probably my dear kitty cat Percy who is my best furry friend. And my family, who always have my back, even when I'm a doof. But yeah, I'm grateful for pizza too. Actually it's almost time for dinner and I think this is a sign that I need to eat pizza!
ReplyDelete