Thursday, June 22, 2017

A Star Wars Ethical Dilemma

Well, it's happened: I'm grappling with my first parenting-related ethical dilemma, and I have no idea what to do. No, this isn't about whether to use cloth or disposable diapers, or whether to cosleep, or anything like that. My dilemma involves a much weightier issue: raising a child in the post-Star Wars-prequel era.

Trashy Diva Sci Fi Rockets Annette
You see, I was eleven years old when I saw my first Star Wars movie, and as is right and proper, I started with Episode IV and proceeded sequentially from there. The prequels did not yet exist. The world was a much better place. I was able to see Darth Vader for the first time without having my mind poisoned against his character by Hayden Christensen's whiny, teen-angsty performance in the prequels. I could take Obi-Wan at his word when he told Luke about his relationship with Luke's father, and recounted Vader's fall to the Dark Side. I was able to get lost in a magical, fully-realized fantasy world galaxy that looked unlike any other film I'd ever seen, rather than expecting Star Wars to look like every other generic special-effects blockbuster.

Most importantly, though, because I was eleven, I can still remember the feeling of seeing those movies for the very first time, and being blindsided by the revelations about Luke's family in Empire and Jedi. (Somehow, I spent over a decade on planet Earth without ever learning who Luke's real father was. On the off chance that anyone reading this is similarly in the dark, in trying to avoid spoilers. This might be a silly and pointless effort.)

Trashy Diva Sci Fi Rockets print

So now we come to the crux of my dilemma: when do I show my child Star Wars, and how? Obviously, I think it's right and proper to show a child the original trilogy first, and to shield her from any knowledge of the prequels until her ideas about Star Wars are solidly established, much the way that the infamous political theorist Leo Strauss thinks people need to be virtuous before they can encounter philosophical truths. (Sorry for the super-reductive theory bomb! I just couldn't help it. Think of it as an Easter Egg for that small set of Star Wars geeks who also love political theory.)

But is it even possible for the child of two Star Wars superfans to make it out of infancy without knowing everything there is to know about the original trilogy? That would take a Herculean effort on my part: both to avoid inadvertently making casual reference to plot points and quotes that are basically woven into the very fiber of my being, and to keep all Star-Wars viewing out of my child's sight.

Even if I managed to remember not to divulge any key plot points, we are living in a time when Star Wars saturates American pop culture, so I doubt she could avoid learning about the movies from her classmates. Also, kids these days seem to like the Clone Wars cartoons and even those dreadful prequels. How can I prevent this environment from warping her view of what Star Wars is really, truly about?

Trashy Diva Sci Fi Rockets Annette dress

The larger issue, I think, is that I'm not sure it's even possible anymore to grow up with absolutely no awareness of, or expectations about, Star Wars. For me, I think, complete ignorance of Star Wars was the key that made my first viewing so magical. My parents liked the movie, but they weren't obsessed, and in the early 1990s, nobody really had Star Wars fever. My dad took me to see the movie because he thought I'd enjoy it, but he had no idea just how much it would come to mean to me. Because of this, everything about the movie, from the most basic plot/character points to the music, was a wonderful surprise.

Can I give this to my child? And if resistance is futile, should I even bother trying to replicate my own cherished first viewing experience? (I suppose there's a larger ethical question here about whether parents should try to stage-manage their child's formative life experiences, and whether they should impose their own ideas of which experiences are formative on their children. But this post focuses on the narrow Star Wars-related facet of this question, and it's getting too long as it is!)

I should note that Jeff grew up watching Star Wars practically from birth. He can't remember the first time he saw those movies, nor can he remember not knowing about those major revelations that blew my eleven-year-old mind, and he still loves the original trilogy! Am I just making a mountain out of a molehill here?

Trashy Diva Sci Fi Rockets Annette dress
Trashy Diva Sci Fi Rockets dress
Dress and belt: Trashy Diva
Shoes: Zulily
Sweater: Forever 21

Help me, readers: you're my only hope and I need advice! How should I navigate these complex issues around Star Wars? How do I give my child the optimal Star Wars experience and prepare her for a lifetime of fulfilling fangirl-dom?

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32 comments:

  1. My dad used to watch it when I was very small. I can remember as far back as preschool how we would sit and watch it together. I know that I really had no concept of that was going on. I was just happy to be with my Dad.

    I always watched and it wasn't until one day that it actually hit me what I had been watching. I was probably around 10 or 11. I rewatched for likely the 20th time and I turned to my Dad and exclaimed, "He's his Daddy?!?!"

    I think you shouldn't worry too much about her comprehending it right away. Honestly, she'll be so happy to be watching with you both that it will make more of an impression on her than the overall story. If that makes sense.

    And she can still grow to value how amazing the story is- because with you both as parents, she will be one intellectual baby! Just hide those prequels.

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    1. This advice is so reassuring and really helps me a lot -- thank you, my friend! Everything you've described is why I love cars to this day. It was something my dad and I could talk about together. We could go to car dealerships and look at the new models, watch Motor Week, and go to the auto shows. I hope our baby enjoys spending time with us!

      And this house is a prequel-free zone ;).

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  2. Easy - how they were released it how they should be watched. Boom. DONE!

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    1. I like how you roll. But do we try to hide the prequels from her? ahhhhhhh!

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  3. Hmm, that is a bit of a dilemma! Well, like Jeff, my husband watched the original trilogy many many times in his diapers and still will rewatch them whenever he can. (Do you think it is time to put the DVDs and VHS back in the vault and upgrade to a Blu-Ray? I would like to hear Jeff's opinion on the matter as well lol). I didn't watch them until I was an adult (shocking, I know)! But since he is the resident SW fan, he thinks that 4-6 should be watched in the order they came out and just skip 1-3 altogether LMAO. I suppose the most logical way is to watch them in the order in which they were released.

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    1. Awww, and your husband turned out just great!

      I agree with skipping 1-3 entirely, though I'm not sure kids can get through elementary school without at least hearing about them.

      And we both refused to get the Blu-Ray boxed set, because they made a couple more 'Special Edition'-esque tweaks to the originals and they're awful. The only Anakin Skywalker I will ever recognize is Sebastian Shaw, NEVER Hayden Christensen!

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  4. Uhh ohh, I think you might detest me by the end of this sentence but I have to confess- I have never got into star wars! D: My little brother is so ashamed of me! My friend made me watch them and I fell asleep during the second one. I think basically I am the worst person to give advice on this hahaha. PLEASE DON'T HATE ME! :D

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    1. Hahaha I fall asleep during Empire Strikes Back quite frequently! It's my favorite movie, but I think it makes me feel so happy and relaxed that I just fall asleep.

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  5. I'm practically a kid myself, but I'd say: watch them as soon as possible. Like you said, it's practically impossible to grow up without getting to know some things about the plot and its twists and because of that I didn't really enjoy my first time watching a Star Wars movie because I already knew what was coming. Once your kid discovers the internet, it's a lost cause anyway, so go for it asap :)

    x Envy

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    1. This is a very good point! When I saw Star Wars for the first time, smartphones didn't exist and I had to go to the library to access the internet. #Ifeeloldnow

      And as one of my friends pointed out on my Facebook page, the baby has already seen Star Wars in utero!

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  6. Watch them in the order they were released, not how they "should" be! Episode IV is the first one I saw and will always be my favourite.

    Alice | Dainty Alice

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    1. I definitely agree with this! The challenge will be protecting the baby from having to experience the prequels, and from having knowledge of the prequels that ruins Star Wars forever...

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  7. Emily

    I am also a Star Wars Super nerd. I grew up watching the movies and remember seeing Jedi as a first released in the Theater. I have raise both my children on Star Wars. Showing it to them as soon as they would sit down to watch a full movie. They are also both Star Wars Nerds. So I feel I have done my job as parent! (When I say Star Wars I am referring to the first three films, not the Jar Jar Binks Crap)

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    1. As far as I'm concerned, the original trilogy and Episode VII are the only Star Wars films in existence. I'm so glad your kids embraced Star Wars! I'd be proud of myself if I were you, too!

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  8. I would definitely skip the prequels if I ever have kids. I would show them the original ones which in my opinion are the absolute best and leave it up to them what they want to watch next. At least I did my duty of informing them correctly haha
    Dora
    http://www.adropofindigo.com/

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    1. This is good advice; thank you! I will have to learn that there's only so much I can do to control my child, haha. I can give her a good foundation, but her choices and her tastes are her own to define.

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  9. Why don't you go the same way you did? Forget the prequels, and start with what you saw first. X

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    1. I'm mostly just worried that all her classmates in elementary school will spoil my plans by talking about the prequels, or *gasp* watching them at a sleepover or something...

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  10. Maybe just start with your favourites and then show her the prequels... that's how I watched them anyways! I'm sure she'll love them just as much as you do! Btw I'm loving all of the Star Wars references in this (resistance is futile etc). Made me giggle!

    Lizzie Bee // hello lizzie bee

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    1. Awww, thank you! And that's probably what I'll do...I'll hold off on showing her the prequels for as long as I possibly can!

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  11. I must admit, I watched the original trilogy when I was far too young to actually appreciate how amazing they were but I revisited them when I was slightly older and fell in love. I would suggest originals first then let her decide if she wants to see the prequels. I really did enjoy the most recent instalment The Force Awakens though, felt like that original magic again. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. It's good to know that you can still experience that magic even if you saw the originals before you were old enough to remember them! My husband doesn't remember *not* knowing the entire plot of the originals, but he still enjoys them!

      And I really enjoyed The Force Awakens, too!

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  12. I saw Princess Mononoke when I was 11 and Harry Potter when I was 9. Which is too young. And I am still alive. Star Wars is disney like compared to this two so not so hard to watch ;) xx corinne

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    1. This is true! I think it'll be impossible for us to hide Star Wars from her for as long as I waited!

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  13. Hm...this is tough! I grew up like Jeff; I never knew a time before Star Wars. I can't remember seeing tyke movies for the first time, but I CAN tell you that my first crush was Luke Skywalker! �� That said, i do feel envious of people like you, who got to have a real, memorable first watch. Unfortunately, I don't know how feasible that is. With my own kids, I'm planning on letting them absorb Star Wars culture from the start, but you gotta do you! I have a feeling that deep down you know what's best for you.

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    1. OMG!! Luke Skywalker was my first celebrity crush too! One of my friends had a theory that a boy becomes a man when he stops wanting to be Luke and starts wanting to be Han, and I've always thought that was hilarious.

      I don't think it's really possible for Jeff and me to avoid giving *anything* away about the plot/characters, the way my parents did, so we'll probably have to do what you're planning to do! Hopefully our kids will grow up with happy memories related to Star Wars!

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  14. Show them early and often! There is no wrong way of bringing up your child as a SW parent, as long as they accept that Jar Jar is the absolute worst. Just having awesome parents is a great start ;)

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    1. I like that! "Star Wars early and often," haha!

      And I'm genuinely not sure if I'll be able to take it if my child finds Jar Jar funny...

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  15. I will admit (I know, shame, shame) that I have not seen Star Wars... but I did want to post to say that I love your outfit!!!

    Britt | http://alternativelyspeaking.ca/

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    1. Aw, thank you! This is one of my favorite dresses -- I'm a massive space nerd and had to have it!

      You've still got plenty of time to watch Star Wars ;)!

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  16. I can't weigh in on any of the Star Wars stuff, but this is a TD I wish I had! You also look so good in it!!!

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  17. Love this post!! I remember watching dvds with my parents from about 5/6 and I used to watch grease and karate kid on replay for hours on end. I dont think there is a specific age, they will watch and then it was be magical when they suddenly click and realise whats going on!xx

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